D.’s Tax-A-Lot Stimulus Package

Written By D.

Yep, you guessed it, more Tax-A-Lot tongue in cheek.


Stimulus Plans …The Dems have one, The GOP has one, Rush has one, so hey, why not me? I’m a citizen and taxpayer too ya know.

Here is my proposal; BAILOUT EVERYBODY.

As you can see, I prefer simple plans, so here’s how it works;

We mail special ATM Stimulus cards to everyone in Tax-A-Lot. Whenever anyone needs money they simply go to the closest Tax-A-Lot ATM machine punch in their SSN – “Stimulus Security Number” (formerly known as Social Security Number) enter the amount they need and presto the money machine comes alive!

Think of it, no more poverty … everyone will be wealthy. There will be no need for socialized medicine because everyone will be able to afford healthcare. No need for Social Security, Welfare, Medicare, Medicaid, Subsidized Loans for College and no one will need a mortgage so bye, bye Fannie and Freddie. We won’t even need banks. Think what it will do to lower the crime rate. We will all live in mansions, have big screen HDTV, drive Lamborghini’s and eat Caviar whenever we feel like it. Just one long bailout bash.

Now I know it will be hard for the government to print money as fast as we withdrawal it, so I propose the new ATM machines be equipped to print it on the fly. Problem solved!

O.K. - There is a downside to my plan, but there is always a downside in every plan. Since no one will have to work in Tax-A-Lot a few problems might arise; there will be no taxpayers to pick up the tab and it will be impossible to find a plumber, but it's impossible to find one now so nothing will change much. I don't want to get defensive but the Dems came up with their flawed plan in ten minutes and why should I spend more time on my plan they did on theirs? And, just like them, I'll work out the problems later.

You know, the truth is, we can’t afford any of the other plans either but at least my plan really spreads the wealth around.

So, isn’t it just the greatest plan ever?

Score One for the Lobbyists

Written By D.

Looks like eliminating earmarks in Tax-A-Lot lasted about 30 seconds. Now there will be earmarks but we just won’t know about it? So, that’s how the new transparency works. The lobbyists will still get earmarks and life goes on in D.C.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090125/ap_on_go_co/the_influence_game_stimulus_lobbying

I keep forgetting that when Democrats put a name to something it means the opposite of what they call it. Example; Transparency means Non-Transparent; The Employee Free Choice Act means No Choice for Employees, etc.

So in Tax-A-Lot, "Read my lips" has a whole new meaning.

“Anyone? Anyone?”

Written By D.

A big number doesn’t seem so large without all those zeroes. So saying 1 trillion as opposed to 1,000,000,000,000 is a useful way to make the number seem smaller and to save time typing all those zeroes. But the zeroes are very important and deserve inclusion.

The government of Tax-A-Lot’s deficit numbers are so large most people can’t relate to their actual size, more so without the zeroes, they just know the word “trillion” means a big number. Tax-A-Lot is counting on that as they pile on the debt, deeper and higher.

But here is a way to visualize it;
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/img/09-08/0920NATtrillions.pdf

Yesterday it was reported that the federal deficit for fiscal year 2009 will be $1.2 trillion. That’s $1,200,000,000,000.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090107/ap_on_bi_ge/budget_deficit_22

That’s a lot of debt, but if you think that is big, check out the total Federal Debt;

The Federal Debt is approximately; $10,600,000,000,000 (10.6 Trillion)

“As of November 19, 2008, the total U.S. federal debt was $10.6 trillion,
with about $37,316 per capita (that is, per U.S. resident). The October 3rd,
2008 bailout bill (H.R.1424), section 122, raised the U.S. debt ceiling from $10
trillion to $11.3 trillion. Of this amount, debt held by the public was roughly
$6.3 trillion. In 2007, the public debt was 36.8 percent of GDP, with a total
debt of 65.5 percent of GDP.”
Source Quoted; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_public_debt

The government has succeeded in making debt a large percentage of GDP.

How much does the government take in from taxes? Well, in 2004, Federal, State and Local government took in over $3,000,000,000,000 ($3 trillion.)

But they just can’t seem to manage on that paltry sum.

Where did that $3,000,000,000,000 come from? The short answer is it came from us taxpayers. But with higher and higher unemployment and more and more people entering retirement, there are fewer and fewer of us.

In case you are curious about the $3,000,000,000,000 broken out by specific taxes, here is a list of taxes for 2004 with all the zeroes;

Table 13. Federal, State and Local Taxes Allocated in the Current
Study, Calendar Year 2004

Federal Taxes
Calendar Year
2004
Amount

Payroll Taxes (Contributions for
Government Social Insurance) $802,200,000,000

Individual Income
Taxes $801,400,000,000

Corporate Income Taxes
$244,500,000,000

Estate and Gift Taxes
$24,600,000,000

Gasoline Excise Taxes
$24,200,000,000

Customs Duties, Etc.
$23,300,000,000

Air Transport Excise Taxes
$12,100,000,000

Other Excise Taxes
$10,400,000,000

Diesel Fuel Excise Taxes
$9,200,000,000

Alcoholic Beverages Excise Taxes
$8,400,000,000

Tobacco Excise Taxes
$7,100,000,000

Total Federal Taxes
$1,967,400,000,000


State and Local Taxes

Property Taxes
$329,800,000,000

General Sales and Gross Receipts Taxes
$254,200,000,000

Individual Income Taxes
$225,100,000,000

Other Taxes on Production and Imports
$48,200,000,000

Corporate Income Taxes
$43,100,000,000

Gasoline Excise Taxes
$33,800,000,000

Other Excise Taxes
$29,300,000,000

Public Utilities Taxes
$21,600,000,000

Insurance Receipts Taxes
$14,600,000,000

Personal Motor Vehicle License Taxes
$13,600,000,000

Tobacco Excise Taxes
$12,300,000,000

Motor Vehicle Licenses on Production & Imports
$7,600,000,000

Severance Taxes $6,900,000,000

Special
Assessments Taxes $6,500,000,000

Personal Property Taxes
$5,700,000,000

Estate and Gift Taxes
$5,700,000,000

Alcoholic Beverages Excise Taxes
$4,600,000,000

Other Personal Taxes
$4,100,000,000

Total State and Local Taxes
$1,066,700,000,000

Source: U.S. Commerce Department’s
Bureau of Economic Analysis; Tax Foundation
http://www.taxfoundation.org/files/wp1.pdf

And now we are being warned of the “dire consequences” of not spending more. I seem to recall being warned of the “dire consequences” of not passing the big bailout a few months ago. Yet as the deficit spending increases, the economy continues to tank.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090108/ap_on_go_pr_wh/obama_economy

OUESTION: How long do you think we can sustain this ever increasing debt?

ANSWER: Who knows? … I feel like the Economics Professor (played by Ben Stein) in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” when, after asking a question and receiving no reply, he said, “Anyone? Anyone?”

THE SOCIETY TO ASSIST IRRESPONSIBLE GRASSHOPPERS

Written By D.

So many people are outraged about the corporate bailouts. I’m wondering why they aren’t outraged about individual bailouts.

If you turn on the TV these days, you can’t watch for more than 15 minutes, without a viewing a commercial explaining how, if you contact their toll free number, they can help you cheat the government out of the taxes you owe, paying only pennies on the dollar. It goes something like; “Wow, I owed the government $50,000 in back taxes, but I went to SO & SO Company and they settled my debt for only $1,000!”

And how about those credit card debts? No problem, you can call a toll free number and they will show you how to unload your debt WITHOUT hurting your credit rating. “Wow, I owed $10,000 in credit card debt, but thanks to SO & SO Company, I don’t have to pay it!”

Who are these commercials aiming at? My guess is they’re aimed at individuals looking to bailout of personal debt.

Now, if someone doesn’t pay the income taxes they owe, who do you think picks up the slack? If someone doesn’t pay their credit card debt, who pays? Yep, it’s the rest of us. And now we will be bailing out homeowners with big mortgages they can’t afford and giving tax relief to people who don’t pay taxes.

People are doing a lot of complaining about companies and government acting irresponsibly, but in many ways they just mirror what our society is becoming. Personal responsibility used to be something people took pride in, now acting responsibly is just for us suckers. Trouble is, there are fewer and fewer of us suckers left to pick up the tab.

I hear complaints all the time about kids going off to college and being “sucked in” by credit card companies. They ring up thousands of dollars in charges and surprise, they can’t pay the debt. But no one told them to accept the credit card and charge up all that debt, they did that all on their own. Yet, who is at fault? Yep, blame the credit card company.

But the kids are just mirroring their parents self gratifying behavior … no one told them to buy the big house they can’t afford. No one told them to buy the car they can’t afford. No one told them to buy all those big screen TVs and gadgets they can’t afford. I don’t own a big screen TV and my home is not huge, but I don’t have a mortgage and I paid for my kid’s very expensive college education. I achieved both by working hard and saving money. Oh yea, and I also took the time to teach my kid personal responsibility.

So, when I hear people complaining about the bailouts, saying things like, “Where’s my bailout?” I realize that the grasshoppers are taking over the anthill and I really don’t have much sympathy because I’m one of the ants. I am a charitable person but I would never choose “The Society to Assist Irresponsible Grasshoppers” as my favorite charity. I prefer donating to real victims of disasters that are not of their own making.

When a society rewards irresponsible personal behavior and votes for the politician offering the most government goodies they are in no position to complain about corporate bailouts. If those whining grasshoppers want to know what’s wrong with our government and the economy, I suggest they start by looking in the mirror.